I don’t need you,

Yet I want you.

I crave for you.

Hey! Listen,

When you don’t listen to me,

I don’t feel whole.

I feel hollow, incomplete.

It feels like I have been cut into half.

I can feel my absence in me.

Like a fallen petal, separated from its flower, I am inanimate, lifeless, without you.

It’s hilarious,

Your absence is the harbinger of the void in me.

But the more and more I am with you,

I become feeble with every passing moment.

Can’t I be merry with myself?

Why do I want you for my happiness?

I know,

You make me weak.

I know,

You breathe in the vacuum inside me.

Then,

Why can’t I just be complete on my own?

Why do I want you to bolster me,

When I can be strong, bold and fierce without anyone?

No, I don’t need anyone for anything.

So,

Don’t be a moon,

Who is shining because of the light of the sun.

Be the sun itself,

Who dazzles without anyone’s help,

Who shines and shines,

Also sprinkles the light of life on others.

Reluctantly Dependent

-Abhya

Are you dependent on someone? Are you dependent on someone for your own happiness? Do you always want someone to make you feel complete? Do you entirely rely on someone for your mental peace? If your answer is yes, I know the majority of us fall in this category, then my questions to you are: Do you really need someone to be merry? Do you actually need a constant support system around you? Do you really need someone to hold your hand? No! Not really. Can’t you be your own pillar? Can’t you be your own savior? Can’t you be your own sunshine? Can’t you fill up your vacuum on your own? Yes! cent percent yes. You are enough. You are sufficient for yourself. You are enough for your own happiness, success. You are an entire package on your own. Instead of imbibing happiness from others, just peep into yourself, the being you will see is far more worthy to be with, to laugh with and to cherish forever. The being that you witness inside you is way more beautiful than any other creation in the whole world.

Life is an incredible labyrinth, comprising of tortuous roads to silky smooth sea and the truth is you have to handle all of it on your own. Whether your life comprises of chills, thrills, laughs, cries, horror, fun, pain or anything else, only you have to deal with it because yet another but the bitter truth is Nobody actually cares about your life. Nobody actually can feel what you can feel, irrespective of they being the closest to your heart. So, the thing is, what is the support system that we talk about? It is a MYTH. The people who are so-called there to be our buttress, tend to weaken us further. Once we are dependent on them for our harmony, we are at their mercy. It becomes brutal, as we progress. It worsens, as when they are there then the curve on our face switches up, else it drops down. So, why are we dependent on these temporary people at the cost of our strength? Why do we rely on them when we know the happiness we are getting through them is transitory?

The reason is we give up, we give up on ourselves. It is when we crave for other beings to complete us. As the eons escape we start living in oblivion, we entirely forget about the gifts that reside inside us. So, we must become oblivious to this oblivion and unwrap the gifts hiding in us. Kudos! Now you don’t want anyone else apart from yourself. The contentment that you will sense now will be endless, it is going to stay with you till infinity. The pleasure that you can get by tackling every trick of life on your own, by being your own bone is ceaseless. The trick is simple, look for happiness inside rather than outside. Be bold, strong, confident and full of faith, rest of the things will just be a game. Only you can change everything, none can do anything. So bring this positive change in yourself, other things will change automatically.

I would like to cite an example from my life, a conversation with my mom that got stuck to my mind. One day I was not in the best of my mind, I was feeling low, I was feeling lonely as if everything is worthless. My mom sensed the agony I was going through, so she interrogated me about the same. As soon as she asked me, I broke into tears and asked her that why am I so lonely, why I don’t have anyone with me. I further asked her, do I deserve to be lonely and don’t I deserve any happiness in my life. Meanwhile, she was just smiling at me, she had a kind of confused look on her face. She said, ” Is it really a problem? Because I don’t think it is a problem. Why do you want to have people around to make yourself feel worthy? She said true happiness lies in yourself, the happiness that you get from others is fleeting. If you really want to be Happy work towards your happiness, all by yourself. If you keep on doing it, you will soar high in the sky”. This simple conversation changed my mind and made me realize how wrong I was. It totally changed my mind.

I implore you, just gather all your strength and work for your permanent happiness, no one else can give you the same. Don’t fall in the trap of this ephemeral contentment that you get from others, it is entirely a huge hoax. Don’t let yourself be a creeper which is dependent on the tree to nourish it, be the tree. Just a little solitude, will set you free from lifetime loneliness, will provide you with boundless happiness. KUDOS! You have got a true friend, yes! That’s you. So, be your own kin, other things will fall in place. The tortuous paths will feel like silk if you have faith in yourself.

Photo credits: Aakarshit Pandey
Poem: Abhya Pandey, that’s me❤️

8 Comments on “Are you dependent??????

  1. The whole content was relatable and the ending was very inspiring. Keep writing!!

  2. Hey… This was beautiful… And I would love to see you writing about something dark… I mean like death and it’s mystery..

  3. The write up was awesome. I was lost while reading.

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