Do you look for validation from others for every little thing in your life? Do you seek for compliments from others to believe in yourself? and let me guess! Do you dress to impress? Puzzled? It means that till now you have seen yourself through others eyes. The bad news is that you don’t know who you are. Having a support system is not bad neither having someone to bolster you is bad. In fact it’s great and you are blessed if you have someone who will act as a buttress in your growth. Always keep such people near who give you your dose of positivity. But, here the question is about being in complete oblivion of yourself and having that constant need of relying on someone or other to know about yourself. It’s ironic but it’s the truth. I know a even a teeny tiny dose of positive words or compliments work as an elixir if you are low. But, why to be low? why can’t you be that confident about yourself that you never ever dare to be dubious about yourself.

The good news is that you can always mend your ways. The moment you decide you want to change for good, you will work wonders. Just give a pause to your life. Go in front of a mirror and stare yourself properly with your whole heart. It sounds silly but that is what you need to do. Now, choose a quite corner of your house and seclude yourself from all the worldly thoughts. Introspect about your strengths, weaknesses, your wins, failures and everything little thing about yourself. Have a date with your soul, for a change. The thing is that if you are unaware of your own capabilities then how will you make use of them in your favour. If you don’t know about your weaknesses then how will you fix it. This oblivion can lead to damnation and stagnate your growth. If this the case then you will always need someone in your life to validate your qualities, to validate your existence. If you are aware of yourself then you don’t need anyone else to make you feel good. Compliments are good, they give you that positive feeling about yourself but keep it aside. Learn to keep it behind, don’t carry them with yourself. Otherwise, you will be lost in them. Just realise it whenever you are right or wrong. Have that confidence in your self. If you are not positive about your own qualities how will you succeed. If you are confident enough and well aware about yourself, no one can push you down.

Now I want to narrate two stories from my life to further elucidate my point. There was a time in my life when my growth was totally stagnated. My mind was totally clogged with the thoughts which were very detrimental. It was on a total stand-still and I had lost faith in myself. The story goes like this:

Story no.1: It always used to happen that whenever I used to get ready, I used to ask my mom if I was looking fine. Only when she used to okay my look then only I used to continue with it. One day I got ready for a party and went ahead to ask my mom about my look. She was busy on a phone call but I kept pestering her and was in no intention to leave till the time she gave remarks on my look. After a while, she said I was no looking good. I finally rushed to my room and started looking for other options even though I was getting late for the party. After few minutes my mom came in and said ” Are you serious? Don’t you have a mirror? Can’t you yourself see how good or bad you are looking? If you yourself don’t know about how good you are, how will other people believe in your goodness? She said you should see the mirror and if the thing that you see is pleasing to you, you should go for that. Never mend yourself in accordance with anyone else’s sight. Do it for yourself. It was a very simple thing but taught me a great lesson.

Story no.2: Whenever I used to be low, I use to talk to one of my close friends. One day I was extremely low. So, I Called her and started complaining about how I Don’t feel good about myself. Then she started pointing out at my talents and I gave a very weird reaction to her words. I asked in surprise that if she truly meant it. She asked me how is it possible that I am so oblivious about my persona. She said that you are your best judge. From that day her words are etched in my mind.

Here, I did few changes in my attitude and my life completely changed for good. At last, just remember to give time to yourself, introspect, have faith in yourself and never rely on someone else’s validation, have confidence in your capabilities.

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