Are you someone who bounces back with the cracks in your heart to the person who gave you those? Does all your anger thaw when you hear a single sweet word from a person who shattered your heart? Do you become oblivious of the trauma and hurt you went through because of that person when you see them? Do you simply forget about every moment of derision when they pour in words dipped in honey? If this is the case, then you need to flip your condition. This attitude is extremely venomous for you. You won’t realize, but by doing so you are ill-treating yourself. In this way, you are depriving yourself of the respect and love you deserve. You need to bolster your self-respect and magnify the love you have for yourself.
I know I have left in you in a maze of mind muddling thoughts, but this is simply about respect and love for yourself. Firstly, I want to elucidate that I am a firm believer in forgiving others. I strongly feel that one should never lag from forgiving people and we all are human beings. It’s a deed of magnanimity. I want to convey that forgive them if they are sorry for their faults and they own their mistakes but don’t surrender yourself to their words. Be cautious while stitching your relationship with them, it might prick you. The person who has hurt you once can hurt you twice. You need to take your steps at a gradual pace while believing them.
We have a tendency that if a person says sorry to us, we forgive and forget what happened. It’s better if you expunge small issues from your mind but this doesn’t apply to the elephantine amount of pain given to you by someone. Our problem lies in showing cent percent trust to the person who has hurt us for a lifetime. If they genuinely feel guilty, pardon them but don’t surrender yourself to them killing your self-respect. Another aspect is that their genuine sounding sugary words might be an act of sycophancy, they might have some motive of returning. If this is the reason of them returning into your life then in no time you will sink deeper in this quagmire of shallow words and boundless hurt.
Why do we allow ourselves to be a slave of the person who turned our world upside down?
- At one point in time, we loved and trusted that person immensely
- Probably now also there is some amount of love for them which resides in our heart
- We are not able to cope up with the vacuum created by them and we feel that if we let them back we can fix it
- When it comes to self-respect, it has been overshadowed by our affection for them
- We don’t love ourselves enough
- This dearth of self-love leads to the constant need of someone in our life
What should we do?
- Forgive but be strong not to submit ourselves to someone who has hurt us
- Love yourself and learn to be happy with yourself
- Firstly learn to respect yourself then only expect others to respect you
- Be careful while trusting someone who has hurt you in past
- Be good to them but don’t get swayed with their words
- Let them in but don’t let them take over your mind
So, learn to love yourself, then only you can handle other relations in the right way. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you. Forgive people but don’t let them control you in any way. Love yourself enough so that you don’t open the door of your life for the wrong beings.
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