My new books: Da-Ight and The Fearless

Hello Gleamikins,

I am happy to announce that my two poetry books are out on amazon worldwide.

1) Da-Ight (paperback)


2) The Fearless (E-book, paperback)

You can get them through the link provided below.

Please check it out and share with your friends who like reading poetry.

Don’t forget to leave a review and rating as it will help me rank better and be more discoverable❤️

Link:

https://linktr.ee/Abhya

The link provided has links to all my books. Also you can check my books on amazon portal native to your country by simply putting my book’s names , if your country link is missing.

Special ongoing offers:

”The Fearless” is available at discounted price for only 50rs in India and if you are a kindle unlimited member then you can read it for free anywhere in this world.

About:

Da-Ight: Day and Night:

It is a collection of poems available worldwide on amazon in paperback format (156 pages). It talks about dark and bright phases of life. It exemplifies that life is a beautiful labyrinth of happy and sad moments. It is about different perceptions. It is about love and life. Da-Ight means, like after day it is night, in the same way, it is day after night. A bright shining sun is inevitable after a dark night.

This poetry book shows contrast through two different poems on a single matter in various ways. This book is written in such a way that poems on adjacent pages are connected in a certain way like; question and answer, two different perspectives, and dark and bright side of a same emotion or issue.

The fearless:

It is a collection of poems on love and life and it has two dedicated chapters respectively. It is 70 pages and is available worldwide on amazon in ebook and paperback formats.

Thank you friends🤗🤗

To get your own WordPress website, click on the link below:

https://wordpress.com/alp?aff=19445&aff=19445&cid=2038607

My podcast “The Fearless” is now live on every platform.

Apple podcasts: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-fearless/id1530456572

Spotify:

Mismatch: Embrace your flaws, your true self

Why do we hesitate to wear a pair of heels with Pajamas? Have you ever fearlessly worn sneakers with your traditional attire? Do you still hesitate to go out in public without layers of makeup due to your insecurities? Are you scared to show off your cute tummy rolls? Can you walk boldly with a mismatch attire? Do you have a fear of unraveling the unfiltered version of yourself? Yes! most of the people have that inhibition to open the curtains to their true self because they want to fit into the societal standards. They tailor everything about themselves to garner the shallow praises of the world. Kudos! to them for successfully winning people’s fake applauds.

“It’s okay to wear a mismatch attire, but it’s not okay if your true self doesn’t match with what you portray yourself in front of the world”

– Abhya Pandey

My question is, why do we hesitate to show our raw faces to the world? The simple answer is our ceaseless desire to be desired. But, by hiding our true self, we lose ourselves. What actually matters is if we are happy by being the way we are. Nothing else matters, the world will have something to say irrespective of the situation. Be the way you want to be rather than following the rules made by someone. Pave your own way. Never be scared to show off your flaws to the world, make it your strength. Love your self, proudly flaunt your true self in front of everyone.

Remember few things forever:

  • Be comfortable in your own body, don’t follow a certain diet to lose a few pounds because you want people to appreciate you. Lose weight only if you feel so. Do it for yourself
  • No need to hide the scars and blemishes on your face by makeup. We all are human beings, it is natural
  • Don’t compare yourself with others, your personality is beautiful in its own ways
  • Craving for a certain body type? Why? Your body is beautiful the way it is
  • Never be insecure, you are the magician of your life. Turn your flaws into your strengths
  • Do deeds so that you can praise yourself from all your heart
  • Unleash yourself, fly without listening to the others
  • Love yourself

Don’t lose yourself, you are precious. Life is short, make every tick of the clock count by listening to your heart. Wear slippers with that beautiful evening dress if you love to. It is all about you.

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Depression: Are you actually there for them?

What do you do when you see someone suffering from depression? What’s your reaction when you see someone sad and lonely? Your instinctive words are “I am there for you”. You console them saying that they are not alone in this and that they have your back. But my point is do you really mean it? And what do you mean when you say you will be by their side? Have you actually tried to dive into the fathoms of their mind and understand their situation? No! In most of the cases, it is all superficial. You get touched by their condition momentarily and you don’t bother to decipher what’s actually behind that depressed soul.

“When you say you are there for them, mean it”

-abhya pandey

The truth is they need you beyond your words. They need to be understood. This depression is far more than sadness. It’s complex and needs to be dealt with intricacy. The ones suffering don’t need your shallow sweet words or a social media post citing how much you support this cause. So, when you see someone inflicted with depression, be with them. Firstly, be a good listener, listen to them over and over again because they need to be heard. It will help in emptying the baggage formed by their suppressed emotions. Don’t judge them, instead understand their condition. Talk positively to them and motivate them. To heal them entirely, you need to be present with your heart and soul with them.

If you actually want to help them, etch these things in your mind:

  • The people who are suffering need someone who can listen to their silence. Be their kin
  • Even if they look fine, they might not be okay. Check up on them
  • They might reiterate their same problem million times, listen to them patiently every single time
  • Motivate them to live life to the fullest
  • Make them realize their self-worth
  • Most importantly don’t judge them because you can never see the world through their eyes
  • Try to mend even the smallest thing in their life because little things matter
  • They have lost faith in everyone. Make them realize the goodness of people around by being good to them
  • Fill their life with positivity
  • It will take some time for them to be healed. Be patient with them
  • Never give up on them

Be with them all along. You are not a doctor but you are a human, you can save someone’s life.

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Veiled: Why are you afraid to show your true self?

I know. I know that it’s not you or if it is you, then not the whole of you. Are you scared to show the world what’s within? Are you scared of being you? Or just intimidated that you might not fit in this perfect world? Many of us are scared of presenting our real selves to others. We just pretend to be one of them to be a part of their herd and be appreciated by them. Moreover, we tailor our life according to their opinions. We filter our thoughts before speaking and step back to speak our hearts out. It’s like the world is the driver of the chariot of our life. The weight of the opinions of society is elephantine, it alters the route we wanna take. It filters our true color.

“Boldly show the true color of your heart, without the filter put by the opinions of this world”

-ABHYA PANDEY

My question is, what really should matter to us, the sycophancy of this superficial world, or our joy. It is very simple, it should always be our happiness. The shallow applauds from others have no value, what’s precious is a true smile on your face after following your heart. Furthermore, I believe that one should always stand out rather than becoming a part of a herd. Be unique, you need not fit in, make people laud your true persona. Opinions and views of others shouldn’t affect the way you wanna lead your life. It shouldn’t stop you from expressing your thoughts.

Just remember a few things:

  • Never edit your words according to the world, you are free to express your views
  • Your happiness comes before anything
  • Speak your heart out
  • Don’t shy away from unraveling your true self
  • Never strive to be perfect, strive to be “your true happy self”
  • Just mute the other voices around, listen to your heart
  • Carry your flaws like a jewel, no one is perfect
  • Love yourself

Don’t hide your true self from the world. Be you!

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BODY SHAMING: I have my own shape

I have my own shape , I have my own body, I am in love with my shape, I refuse to alter it in accordance to your vision, It is beautiful the way it is, I refuse to change it according to your will, It is flawless the way it is, I refuse to inflate or deflate it according to your wish because it will always be in accordance to my wish. The flaws on my body make me unique and I refuse to be the part of that herd. I want to stand out with my unique, flawless shape. I love my shape. I have my own shape. – Abhya Pandey

Are you confused? Don’t worry, I won’t keep you baffled. Today I am going to discuss about “Body- shaming”. Though body- shaming is a bigger umbrella comprising of many factors, today I am going to talk about weight precisely. It is something which almost everyone has experienced at some point of their life or are presently going through it. There is going to be a part-2 of this topic where I will discuss about my story of body shaming in detail.

What is body shaming ?

Body shaming is demeaning someone on the basis of their physical appearance or body. When your body is a subject of scrutiny and hence, people end up passing degrading remarks about it, it is body shaming. Mocking someone brutally about their weight, passing out comments like: “too thin”, too fat”,” you look like a skeleton”, “you look like a hippo “, commenting about their dressing habits like: “she is brave to wear such kind of a dress with this body”, “she looks like a hanger in that dress”, passing subtle remarks about their eating habits like: “you should eat more”, “you should control your food intake” e.t.c everything falls under body shaming. It is not only restricted to a episode of conscious mockery of someone’s body but also to an innocuous ( NOT SO innocuous) banter. Willingly or unwillingly passing any sort of degrading comment about someone’s body or doing any gesture relating to that is also a part of this act. Yes! it is not only restricted to just verbal remarks but also your action. Making a grimace out of disgust, boycotting someone socially due to their body , always carrying that air of superiority over the other person who doesn’t have that so called perfect body in your eyes epitomises the non-verbal part of body-shaming. Succinctly speaking, throwing shade on someone consciously or unconsciously in any way through your actions due to their body is body-shaming.

What people do?

Unfortunately, there is a set standard in this milieu for how a person’s body should look and it looks like that every single person has etched it in their mind. It seems like they have a hard time letting go of this so- called norm. Apparently, everyone expects you to strictly abide by this standard otherwise, they are bound to treat you as an outcast. In our society having a petite frame in a girls case and an attractive athletic or muscular body in a guys case is a standard. It is a green signal for you to peacefully exist in this society without any bullying. Moreover, they want you to be THIN but not TOO THIN, they want you have those SENSUOUS CURVES but not be TOO THICK to fall in the category of being FAT. It’s hilarious that the standards keep on changing with time. At times having a zero figure is in vogue at some other time being curvy, athletic, muscular e.t.c is. But one thing has been constant, body shaming. People have never failed to ridicule a person who doesn’t fit in this set standard of so-called perfect body. Body shaming is something which is not restrained to just a particular age. Sadly, every age group whether a kid or teenager or and adult can be predator or victim of this body shaming. The truth is that small kids don’t want to keep an obese kid in their team while playing, people hesitate in dating an obese or an underweight person, teenagers bully their fellow obese or underweight classmates, even while marrying a groom or bride is expected to be of certain weight e.t.c. These things are just because of meaningless norm of a so called flawless body. People fail to see someone beyond their body, people fail to see someone actually, they just see their body.

How we respond to it?

On the other hand, talking about victims. They have a hard time dealing with this. Some of them are strong enough to deal with this bravely while some of them find it difficult to release themselves from this societal burden. Many people get trapped in the clutches of body shaming and end up further damaging themselves. There are a plethora of consequences of body-shaming. Few of them are:

  1. People start self-loathing. They don’t want to look in the mirror.
  2. They suffer from anxiety or depression. Sometimes it can be life long.
  3. They abstain from dressing up, clicking pictures, going to gatherings, making friends.
  4. They have that constant inferiority complex with them like a shadow.
  5. They force themselves(not for their health but because of this constant mockery) to loose or gain certain weight.
  6. They force themselves to follow unhealthy diets or sometimes end up suffering from ” Eating disorder”.

What people should do?

This is a vicious cycle. Once a victim can be a predator other day. A person who has suffered himself /herself from this will not fail to expect others to abide by this rule. We should understand every body type is unique and unburden ourselves and others from this pressure of fitting into that frame. If we spread this message of body positively and normalise every body type, there will be lesser amount of instances of body shaming. If people start to understand that every body type is beautiful then why will they judge others. The truth is predators also have this burden to have that “attractive body” before they bully others. So, if we promote body positivity then the burden will fall off from both the predators and victims side. Also, we never know how badly a person is affected by our gestures. We might end up ruining someone’s life by this meaningless fat shaming. We should spread positivity instead of any hate. Please, understand that a person is not limited only to their body. Start looking beyond it. It is more meaningful.

What the victims should actually do?

Firstly, we should understand the motive of the person throwing shade at us. It is never good. If your well wishers are speaking about your weight they won’t demean you it will be because of your health. leave everyone, it’s your own body so, the decision should be yours. You should learn to love your body, it’s unique. Don’t follow this flock mentality it’s worthless. Abstain from paying heed to any person demeaning your body. Change if you want to change, dress up the way you like, eat what you want to it, It is your body. Don’t change because of this societal pressure if you want to change do it only if you really want to or for your well-being. Don’t allow anyone to hamper your mental peace. Don’t retain their meaningless words. You are beyond your body. Life is more than being flawless, it is about embracing your flaws. Love yourself, love your shape.

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